Monday, February 26, 2018

TWICE FRIED ALMOND PORK DING BIDS FAREWELL TO THE SPCA

It seems that a languishing Vietnamese pot bellied pig named Molly was rescued by the British Colombian Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. The pig and her siblings were in terrible shape, and they were lovingly nursed back to health.

Then, the day of adoption arrived, and the pigs were adopted out to local people.  A man, whom the press and police are not naming, took Molly. As diligent animal huggers, the SPCA inspected Mr. Anonymous' property and arrangements. He had a nice back yard for the piglet, and he had built it a nice little palace for the Vietnamese princess out back. Mr. Anonymous behaved at all times like a dedicated pig hugger.

All went sort of well at first. The piglet liked to bite people, but Mr. Anonymous trained that out of her, and he faithfully buried Molly's food so she could find it by sniffing and digging it up, just like back in the good old Viet Cong jungle.

But, alas, one day the smell of Twice Fried Almond Pork Ding went wafting across the fence of Mr. Anonymous, and the neighbors got suspicious. They reported Mr. Anonymous to the SPCA, and the police were called to look in on Molly's well being.

Alas, all they found was left over sliced pork in the refrigerator. The SPCA called for Mr. Anonymous to be arrested and geven a life sentence for animal cruelty. The police asked Mr. Anonymous how he executed the pig, and his method was declared humane. The SPCA wanted to sue Mr. Anonymous because he had signed an agreement not to kill the pig or give it away. The court said the agreement was not enforceable due to the fact that Mr. Anonymous owned Molly.

So, all ye animal huggers of the world will now have a mighty wail and cry scalding hot tears for Molly I suspect.

But, we must learn something by this sad tale. Let us all be very careful who we give our pigs to. Some well intentioned people may find that their taste for pork is stronger than their good intentions and eat the pig. 

As my old sainted Cherokee aunt in Oklahoma used to say, "Pork on the fork is worth two in the SPCA."