Friday, November 6, 2015

I AM GOING TO RAISE MY DEBT CEILING.....

There is no debt ceiling folks. You see, when the greed rages, and the deep pockets go empty, the mob on high "raises the debt ceiling."

This means that the printing presses can keep printing the money. And, the Government can spend and spend and spend ad nauseam. 


My friend the banker in California told me long ago that, in the event of an economic crisis, be either 100% in debt, or 100% out of debt. If you are 50% in debt, the creditors will take the 50% you have to pay off the 50% you owe. 

If you are 100% in debt (grab hold.... this is frightening), you become an asset on their books (accounts receivable), and the bank will treat you like a king in the hope that you will one day pay up. In fact, they might even make you another loan.

So, I have decided to raise my debt ceiling. Since the ceiling can always be raised again and again down the road, I think I will do my own Quantitative Easing. I believe I will get me a printing press, and I will print my own dollars with my face on them. This will undoubtedly give you peasants great confidence in my dollars, and I will be able to......


Buy this:



And this,




And this,




And this.



Why should Warren Buffett and Slim Carlos have all the fun?

Now, folks, you need to send me your cash from any other nation other than the USA. I cannot take US dollars because they have been devalued so much. But, once I have your cash from Zimbabwe or Bangladesh in hand, I will send you my brand new Balaam's Ass Dollars. 

My first issue of dollars will be $1000 bills with my face on them. Later, I will be printing $1,000,000 bills with the face of Balaam's Ass just like the donkey at the top of this post. Finally, I will be printing $1,000,000,000,000,000 bills with "WEIMER REPUBLIC" printed on them.

Isaiah 1:3 The ox knoweth his owner, and the ass his master's crib: but Israel doth not know, my people doth not consider.

Neither do the leaders of the Exceptional Nation. Just keep raising the ceiling, Jack Ass.

Pssst, good buddy, could you spot me some cash this Christmas to buy a printing press?






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