I want to set the record straight. I have, in recent months, gone wandering about without letting CBS, NBC, CNN, and the New York Times know were I was going. I intend to atone for my sins by starting to let all you charming media liars know exactly where I am henceforth.
So, after posting this item to my blog, I shall be going to the bathroom doing Number One, and then I shall go to my vehicle, a Dodge Caravan, and I shall be going to mail three letters in Liberty Hill, Texas.
One letter is a return which was delivered wrongly to our address, the second letter is a pay arrangement to a Muslim doctor who visited my wife after her knee surgery and did not slit her throat. The least I can do is pay the good man. The third letter is a payment for our credit card bill.
Now, on the way home, if I can remember to, I shall be stopping at Winkley's Hardware and Farm store to buy things I still have to recall. I apologize for the memory lapse due to my being an 73 year old dinosaur.
While I am at Winkley's, I shall be conferring with the owner, Chris, on the possibility of a good deer hunting season and which deer bait he recommends this year. This, of course, must be held at the highest level of secrecy so that Vladimir Putin does not get the jump on me and steal my favorite hunting spot.
If any of you would like to follow along behind my one car motorcade, please understand that the management accepts no liability for any wrong turns I take. They were done on purpose but must be withheld at this time due to national security.
I trust this helps the media to believe that I sincerely intend to bring complete transparency to my ongoing administration of my tiny little Rectangular Office here in the Texas Hill Country.
To those of you who still feel I am not keeping the press informed well enough, kindly register your complaint with Roxie, our Bull Mastiff. She is making a patchwork quilt for us which is made of swatches taken from the seat of the pants of various news reporters. Contributions will be appreciated.
While I am at Winkley's, I shall be conferring with the owner, Chris, on the possibility of a good deer hunting season and which deer bait he recommends this year. This, of course, must be held at the highest level of secrecy so that Vladimir Putin does not get the jump on me and steal my favorite hunting spot.
If any of you would like to follow along behind my one car motorcade, please understand that the management accepts no liability for any wrong turns I take. They were done on purpose but must be withheld at this time due to national security.
I trust this helps the media to believe that I sincerely intend to bring complete transparency to my ongoing administration of my tiny little Rectangular Office here in the Texas Hill Country.
To those of you who still feel I am not keeping the press informed well enough, kindly register your complaint with Roxie, our Bull Mastiff. She is making a patchwork quilt for us which is made of swatches taken from the seat of the pants of various news reporters. Contributions will be appreciated.
