Tuesday, July 19, 2016


Trust the Germans to make a self-driving bus.

Mercedes at that.


So, you get on the driverless bus at the airport in Frankfurt, and the audio says, "Velcome to Deutchland uber Alles. Pleece shut up und tighten zeat belts."

So, off you go, and six hours later the voice comes back on and says. "Ya vol, und ve hafe made zum mistaken. Ve are now coming to the Arch de Triumph. Ven der bus shtops, get outa here at vonce, und leaf none of your shtuff in der zeats pleece. Danka. Any complaints you make pleece to Francois Hollande."

So, I got to thinking. And, after many hours burning the midnight oil and my toast, I have an announcement. I have produced the world's first self-driving wheel barrow. 

This vehicle is high tech for sure. It does one thing very well indeed. If you park this wheel barrow in the garage at the end of the day, it waits until dark, and then it starts up and drives itself out into the path you take to go lock up the chickens. 

There is sits, phlegmatic and cool in the dark. It makes not a sound, not a squeak. 

Lovely in the evening air,
Laying on its side right there;
Waiting for the master fair,
Til it springs and spreads despair.

Thus, when you go to close the door of the chicken coop, you will find the wheel barrow in the dark. You will find the wheel barrow on top of you. You will realize my fantastic wheel barrow is not only self-driving, it is vengeful. 

For an add on fee, I can program the wheel barrow to self-park itself in your neighbor's back yard. Think about this. A way to punish your neighbor for borrowing your wheel barrow and not returning it.

So, Mercedes has nothing on us Americans in Texas.